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Middle seat within the smoking section,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
October 1988, about the Wednesday before Halloween. Which was the date of worst flight I was ever on.
Define Well, it was a Northwest flight an overbooked DC-10 going from Boston to Copenhagen. We'd center seats in a five-abreast middle block, within the aft economy cabin, smack in the middle of the smoking section. And the Danes, the thing is, have it with regards to smoking: They are doing it constantly and they can stop.
The smoking section. How quaint, even uncivilized the concept feels today. But there really was such a place, and all all too often those were the only real seats available. At best, as somebody once put it, smoking section on an airplane is like using a peeing section inside a pool. At worst, you spent two days in a Copenhagen hotel attempting to fumigate hair and clothes.
Much to its credit, Northwest had become the initial airline in the world to ban smoking outright. From April 1988, smoking was prohibited on all the carrier domestic flights. campaigns in hopes of overturning the ban. action is clearly a marketing ploy, wrote Frank Resnick,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], obama of Philip Morris, in a 1988 memo. smokers to obtain some cheap publicity for its flights. really said that.
No matter, other carriers followed Northwest lead, and eventually the policy became an FAA regulation. Today the ban is pretty much universal. I am not aware of any carrier,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], anywhere in the world, that also permits smoking. On many newer planes, that old smoking light continues to be replaced with a gadgets light.
Not too passengers don occasionally, surreptitiously illuminate. Most often this happens in the lavatory,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], usually on long-haul flights.
In case you didn know it, tampering with,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], disabling or destroying a lavatory smoke detector is prohibited. I always thought with covered the other two, but that something.
While we in internet marketing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], here are some other activities we ought to consider banning:
1. Shrieking children. The crying kid is, hands down,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the only greatest scourge of contemporary air travel. It the kid; it the indulgent parent; it the air pressure whatever, simply make it's quiet. How about a kids section in the back, in which the smokers used to be sequestered? And/or what about enforcing an easy and useful insurance policy for people with the fancy strollers and also the 250 pounds of gear that is apparently required when flying having a baby or toddler: Please board first,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and please disembark last.
2. Then, let do something positive about the noise levels inside the terminals. We are able to start by going for a crowbar to each 4g iphone of these CNN chatterboxes and muzzling the storm of useless public address announcements.
3. We should also issue citations to passengers who insist upon stowing their carry-ons in the first empty bin that they come to instead of using a bin close to their assigned seat. This causes the forward bins to quickly fill, forcing those passengers who are actually sitting in the front from the plane to visit backward on the aisle, against the flow of traffic, to stow their belongings. After landing, the same thing happens in reverse, slowing the already tedious deplaning process.
Those are the three pet peeves of flying that many commonly jump to mind my mind, that's, and when you a regular to this column you heard me complain about them before. And here a new one:
4. Passengers who barricade themselves in the lavatory for longer periods of time. This is particularly annoying on crowded red-eye flights,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shortly before landing, when everybody about the airplane decides to use the toilet simultaneously. The road starts to snake on the aisle, and there is always that certain individual who lingers within the lav for 10 or 15 minutes. cities, bypassing the smoking ban by chartering itself like a members-only,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], technically noncommercial airline. Alas, funding fell through and operations never began.
Passengers would have paid a yearly $25 membership fee, and also you had to be at least 21 to join. The founders of Smokers Express pointed out that its flights would thus be of screaming babies. about lesser of evils. Item 1., above, notwithstanding, I unsure just how much of the feature that was.
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Do you have questions for Salon aviation expert? Contact Patrick Smith through his website to check out answers in a future column.
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