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Intimacy and Safety
Aronson, 1996.) The greater we contact one another, the closer we get. The closer we get, the simpler and deeper our communication.
Intimacy develops gradually,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as couples share private information of an emotional nature with each other. What is shared could be a relevant experience, an individual reflection, or an opinion or view that shows one's beliefs and philosophy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ways of seeing things, of interpreting reality around and within us. Whatever it is, it's information that this person regards as deeply personal. Sometimes it is the first time this post is distributed to someone else. Sometimes, it is shared inside a newly and deeply felt way, which makes it diverse from previously. This experience ties a couple together in unique ways and deepens their feelings for one another.
Sharing in a deep, personal way not just facilitates intimacy with another individual, but also sheds light into our inner lives, aiding self awareness and increasing insight. As we verbally communicate our emotions, we obtain to know ourselves better, and we become more sophisticated and willing to share.
As you partner shares,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the other responds with empathy. Empathy may be the ability to put him/herself within the other person's shoes, and feel what the other person feels. The expression of empathy, in turn, is conducive to more sharing. This method creates an emotional connection between two individuals that gets deeper because the sharing continues. With time, partners come to know each other not only by what they say, but also by what they do not say. Intimacy requires closeness, once we said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but also the ability to let our partner be separate from us.
It is necessary that each partner is both area of the couple as well as an individual in his or her own right. Each must maintain a person identity and this is fostered and encouraged. The greater we can be inside us a romantic relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the more comfortable we're in it. The greater our partner is threatened by who we are, the more we're feeling we must choose - be ourselves or perhaps be in the relationship - the more we come to resent being put in it.
Everyone knows women,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], generally, have easier time sharing emotional information and feeling empathy than men. There are many possible reasons for this gender difference. Maybe the west tolerates emotional sharing from women although not from men, accepting as well as encouraging opening on the part. It could be that the close relationship women are able to maintain with their mothers past adolescence increases their comfort and appreciation for emotional closeness throughout life. Or maybe it's a genetic predisposition, possibly because of women's traditional nurturing roles of bearing and raising children, which allows these phones become more in contact with their emotions and more verbal about them and more empathic to others' feelings than men.
Be as it might, when males are emotionally sharing in intimate relationships, both men and women feel there is intimacy together. However, if perhaps women are emotionally sharing, both partners feel there isn't any intimacy. It is thus male disclosure of emotional information and the ability to feel empathy that determines the level of intimacy within the relationship, as perceived by both partners. (Mitchell et al. 2008. Predictors of Intimacy in Couples' Discussions of Relationship Injuries: An Observational Study. Journal of Family Psychology, 22,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 21-29.)
These bits of information point to the requirement to encourage and facilitate disclosure of emotional info on men's part, to be able to nurture the development of intimacy in couples.
These are stuff that can be achieved to facilitate this method:
*Provide encouragement and support for men to spread out up without threatening their cultural and personal expectations of what a man should act like.
*Reward disclosures, to ensure that you will see more comfort and fewer resistance to them later on.
*Be more aware of men's attempts to disclose and ways of doing this, as these may follow different paths than women's disclosures and want to become identified.
*Create an environment where it's safe to disclose, because disclosing makes one vulnerable. One way of doing this will be the first to disclose, modeling what to do and how to get it done.
Emotional and physical safety,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because the word implies, develops once the two partners can let their guards down when together and fully express who they really are. Intimate relationships, when healthy, give a feeling of comfort and security to the two people involved. Additionally they provide a sense of meaning and purpose for their lives.
An old Irish proverb states that "We reside in the shelter of every other", referring to the comfort and safety supplied by intimate relationships. We feel aware of our family members, we're feeling protected, heard and loved by them. If this is happening, intimate relationships become the secure bases from which partners can launch themselves into new ventures and experiences and also to that they return if needed. Feeling emotionally safe means each partner trusts that the other is going to be available and responsive if needed.
Safety and intimacy cannot exist without each other. When there are problems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], either or both of them are at risk. has been a psychotherapist for pretty much forty years inside a career that has spanned three countries in 2 continents. Dr. Roher's adoration for her work comes from a deep interest in human interactions and connections and keeps her at the forefront of the new science of relationships. She continuously studies and applies treatment models that best help couples identify, understand,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], address and resolve interpersonal issues, to be able to bring intimacy and deeper connection back to their love relationships.
Born in Italy, Dr. Roher attended the Universities of Torino in Italy, Cambridge in England, Wayne State University in america and also the Michigan Psychoanalytic Institute. The experiences she gained from her studies in different countries nurtured her discipline and passion for knowledge and her appreciation of the numerous ways different cultures affect and shape the human mind. From her many years of studying and practicing as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, she brings a constantly deepening knowledge of a persons journey, with all of its challenges and rewards.
Dr. Roher lives in Arizona where she's a private psychotherapy practice counseling individuals and couples. If not in her office, her love for the desert keeps her outdoors, not wanting to miss any opportunity to maintain touch with nature and observe the miracles that constantly unfold. She's also a devoted blogger on various psychological topics, with a special focus on couples' regions of conflict.
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