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A Manager Who Lapsed Into Long Silences
Bill was a senior manager in a large telecommunications company. There was a studious air about him. He wore spectacles with thick lenses that magnified his eyes. Bald and portly, he was always well turned out never succumbing to the invitation to dress down on Fridays and his shoes were exceptionally highly polished. In a previous existence he had been an army officer and retained the practice of polishing his shoes with a soft cloth (never anything so rough as a brush!) and much spit and polish.
Bill had one truly alarming habit; without warning,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the middle of a conversation, he would fall silent. There were many occasions when he was talking over a project with a colleague when,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], suddenly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Bill would lapse into silence. This could happen at any time in mid-sentence, when you had finished answering a question he had put to you, even when you asked him a question.
Once Bill had stopped, it was as though he had gone into suspended animation. He gaze at you through those big lenses with a blank expression. If he had been a character in a comic, he have been drawn with a stream of bubbles emanating from the top of his head. In the absence of any bubbles, it was hard for anyone to know how to interpret the sudden silence. Had something offended him? Had he lost his train of thought? Had he been asked a question that was so profound that it required deep thought? Had he been struck dumb by a stroke? One of Bill colleagues became very irritated with his own inability to tolerate the silences. The first few times Bill inflicted a sudden silence on him, in common with most people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he would obligingly fill the gap by making some comment. In hindsight, he always regretted this because it meant he had blurted out inconsequential, ill-advised statements just to fill the silence.
So the colleague devised a plan to survive the silences. He set himself the objective of not, under any circumstances, being the next to speak. No matter how long it took,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Bill would have to break the silence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not him. The plan to survive the silence was simple (as the best plans always are); he would concentrate on counting (not sheep, but numbers!) and this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he reckoned, would give him something to do to fill the void.
He only had to implement his plan once. Bill fell silent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the colleague started counting (in his head,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not out loud). He kept counting, and counting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and counting. Eventually, somewhere in the three-hundreds, Bill broke the silence by saying, changed. colleague told him about his plan and Bill never inflicted a silence on him again.
Let face it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you been rumbled! Your ploy of lapsing into sudden silences will no longer work. The colleague who broke the pattern by counting his way through the silence, will surely pass this on to your other victims. If they have any sense,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they all start doing it and any advantage you thought you had gained will vanish.
I take it that you adopted the silence routine because you discovered that it was a good way to get people to reveal things that would otherwise be left unsaid,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Or perhaps it just amused you to see how different people would cope under pressure? The way you are using silences at present is a form of harassment and bullying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
You needn totally abandon silences; you just need to throw in an open-ended question before becoming silent in anticipation of an expansive answer. Questions are a far better way to get people to open up than silences alone, and they have the added advantage of providing some focus to the discussion. You can control the whole conversation through a few well-placed questions.
In an odd sort of way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your ability to stay silent should stand you in good stead when it comes to listening to the answers to your questions without interrupting. Too many managers make the mistake of jumping in and answering their own questions or cutting people off before they have finished. You are well equipped to avoid these perils.相关的主题文章：


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